Our friend over at BeyondMommying has started a #MomFail series and I thought I would give her (and you) a peek into one of my #momfail moments. This one is from yesterday.
As you know, I am the mom of a threenager. I really wondered about that word when I saw people hashtag it. I even caught myself saying I wouldn’t use it. I mean, how could a three year old really be acting like a teenager? Ha! Yup, JustaBXgirl turned three and I completely understood the term.
I’m really scared of what her teen years are going to be like. This child will argue a point even after you agree with her. The crazy thing is she normally uses logic in a way that can even make me second guess myself. I love this about her. I love her stubborn streak. I love that she has an opinion about everything. I love that she has an answer to just about every question. I love that she remembers everything and will use your words against you. I don’t want to do anything to extinguish the flame that burns strong.
Having said that, she completely drives me crazy at times. Let’s rewind to the past Sunday. We had a very busy day. We went to the last Cirkiz event of the season. JustaBXgirl won a family 4 pack in a freeze dance contest last week. After the Cirkiz event we went outside with her scooter. She is very proud to have paid for half of her scooter. I’m all about instilling financial literacy at an early age. After dinner she was playing and asked if she could take a shower and do her hair in the morning instead of a bath at night. She had taken a shower in the morning so unwillingly I agreed. We picked out the dress she would be wearing. I explained that Monday would be a very busy day. We had two events to cover and it was her grandpa’s birthday. She didn’t give me any trouble going to bed.
Rise and whine Monday morning. I had to get up and do a little work before it was time to get ready to head out for the events. We co-sleep and JustaBXgirl wasn’t really feeling be getting out of bed early. Apparently this set her mood for the morning. She no longer wanted to wear the dress she had chosen the night before. She wanted to wear the dress she wore on Saturday that was sitting in the dirty clothes. She no longer wanted to take a shower and do her hair. She wanted to wear her hair untouched. She shared her opinions via screaming, crying and dripping spit and snot everywhere. She didn’t want me to touch her but she didn’t want me further than arm’s length. She didn’t want to brush her teeth or eat her breakfast. She said she didn’t want any snacks for the road and refused to pick another outfit or let me hold her long enough to put on clothes of my choice. She finally chose another dress and of course after I tell her it’s fine I see a stain on it. Cue tantrum part two.
By this point we are both frustrated beyond belief. She’s still screaming and is now running around in her panties only. We also now have only fifteen minutes left before we are due out of the house. I threaten her that we are leaving in fifteen minutes and she will be stuck wearing nothing but panties for the day. Of course this sounds like a great idea to her. Cue tantrum number three when I explain that it was a false statement and she cannot leave the house in only panties. Now we have a three minute conversation about the error of my statement.
We now have less than ten minutes to leave before we are running late. I’m beyond frustrated. She is beyond consolable. I’m screaming and I use profanity. I do my best not to use profanity around her. My child considers words like dumb and ugly to be bad words. Can you imagine what she’s thinking when I drop the F bomb?
At the moment though we are both stuck in our emotions. I finally use the age old parenting method of counting to three to get her to select something else worthy of wearing. We compromise on her hair. I don’t have the energy or time left to style it anyway. I put some product in her hair and smooth it out a bit. I pack snacks that I know she will eat even though she said she didn’t want any because I know once we are on the train she will get hungry (remember no breakfast).
We finally leave for the day. It felt like eternity fighting with her but we ended up only leaving ten minutes late. Talk about time warp. I later apologized about using profanity and she called me out. She said, “mommy you used really bad words. That wasn’t nice.” She was right. It’s just hard to always remember to be nice when you’re being ruled by a three year old.
I would love to say the rest of the day was all roses. It wasn’t. We did have a great day but there were more whiny moments than normal. Then again when you’re three I guess you should be entitled to some whiny moments. And when you’re a mommy you’re entitled to have some less than stellar moments. I won’t always be perfect but I will always do my best. And when I’m less than my best I will admit it and try to be better.