Mommy Wars are real! You have breastfeeding vs. formula feeding, working vs. stay at home, cloth diaper vs. disposable diaper, helicopter parenting vs. free range parenting, married vs single and even single vs. single. Yup, single vs. single (more about that later). The reality is that we can always find something to feel like we are being a better mother than (insert random stranger, coworker, friend or family member). What we need to do is just stop. We need to start acknowledging that we might not know it all (don’t tell our kids). We have to understand that we might not have all of the answers for someone else’s life (and even if we do, they don’t have to listen).
I don’t have all of the answers but I do have an opinion on just about everything. And in my Mommy Wars series I will be sharing my opinion on why I think most of these mommy wars are total BS. Have your ever heard of any Daddy Wars? Nope, I haven’t either. You know why? Because dads are too busy being dads to worry about how another dad does his job. And that’s not to say we aren’t busy, come on now ladies! We are beyond busy. We just like to multi-task which gives us so much time and opportunity to judge and feel judged. It’s time for us to have a serious peace conference and call a truce on these wars. Hopefully for any of you engaged in Mommy War combat I will give you a reason to lay down your weapon and tell that mom you are warring with that she is doing a great job.
Being a mom is difficult. It is also very rewarding but ladies we need more support not more insecurities. Are you with me? When it comes to judging other moms, just say no! Then go and tell someone you trust…that she is doing a wonderful job of loving her child. (Hopefully some of my readers will get the reference to what I just did there and I didn’t completely age and isolate myself).
And for all of you dads reading this make sure that all of the moms in your life know they have your support too. At the base of all of these wars comes insecurity. One mom thinks that because another mom does things different it’s a judgement on the first mom’s parenting. It really isn’t, or at least it shouldn’t be. Each family is unique. Humans are like snowflakes. No matter how similar we seem none of us are exactly alike. We need to begin embracing our differences so that we can learn from each other.
Stay tuned for the first installment of the Mommy Wars Series – What is a Single Mom?