#TransparentParenting – Moana Meltdown

#TransparentParenting – Moana Meltdown

I have to admit, I wasn’t planning on writing a #transparentparenting post today.  My editorial calendar was set for the week and this was not on it.  That’s the thing about #transparentparenting, it can’t be planned.  Sometimes the real moments pop up and you know you have to share them.

Last night we were invited to an advanced screening of Disney’s Moana.  We are blessed.  We went to another screening last week.  Look for the review to be up soon.  After seeing the movie the first time I checked in with JustaBXgirl and asked her if she wanted to see it a second time.  She was excited.  She also was happy that she would be able to share the second creening with her godbrother and cousin.

All weekend she asked if when would it be time to go.  Monday came and she was still excited.  She spent all day waiting for it to be time to leave.  She fell asleep as we were on the way to the theater.  I allowed her to sleep up until I got popcorn and our seats.  We still had about twenty minutes left for the movie to start.  She was still excited but started getting antsy waiting for the movie to begin.

The theater was packed!  The movie began.  JustaBXgirl informed me that she didn’t need to hold my hand because she wasn’t going to get scared.  She was hyped in her seat as the opening scenes came on.  Then it happened.  Less than fifteen minutes into the movie she decided she no longer wanted to be there!  I reminded her there wasn’t anything to be afraid of (even though at the moment there wasn’t anything scary on screen).  I reminded her she had seen the movie and knew what would happen.  She repeated that she didn’t want to be there anymore.

I asked if she wanted to sit on my lap.  She repeated that she wanted to leave.  I got her to sit on my lap for a minute.  Told her she could close her eyes and didn’t have to watch but we couldn’t leave without disturbing everyone.  She closed her eyes and started crying because she could still hear the movie.  My child was working herself up into a true tantrum.  My only choices were to allow her to start screaming (as she was already getting louder) while I continued watching the movie I was really looking forward to seeing again or to try to stumble out of a packed theater before the tantrum blew.

I sacrificed for the crowd.  I shuffled out of the theater with her pockit stroller in one hand and popcorn in the other as JustaBXgirl led the way sniffling.  We got out into the waiting area and I was LIVID.  I sat JustaBXgirl down and asked her what her problem was.  She stammered like she does when she’s nervous and told me she just didn’t want to see the movie.  WHAT???!!!

So, at no time during the weekend did she have this revelation?  Nope, it hit her after we traveled an hour on the subway in freezing temperatures, I bought movie snacks, and the movie started!  Oh and did I mention in the rush out of the theater I left my purse and coat inside with my best friend and sister-in-law?  And I didn’t even have my phone to entertain me because at this screening you had to check your phone and my ticket for the check was in my wallet in my purse!

Can you say mama was mad?  And now JustaBXgirl was satisfied.  I explained that now we would have to sit there for almost two hours to wait for the movie to end before we could get our stuff from inside.  She was completely fine with this!  Me?  I was frustrated.  I couldn’t understand what happened.  And she couldn’t tell me anymore other than she at that moment decided she didn’t want to see it again.

When everyone finally came out a friend that was at the screening came and was chatting.  She told JustaBXgirl that since she didn’t want to see the movie my friend was going to come and get her Moana toys.  This got JustaBXgirl very serious as she asked me if that was really going to happen.  I said of course not and she relaxed and then told her godbrother and cousin what her favorite parts of the movie were.

When we got home and grandpa asked how the movie was she started telling him how much she liked it and sharing parts from it.  It was almost as if we hadn’t sat and waited for everyone else to enjoy the show.  I explained to justaBXgrandpa what happened and sent JustaBXgirl to bed.

This morning she saw them talking about Moana on the news and lit up with joy.  She spent time today playing with #SingingMoana and #MegaMaui while coloring Moana coloring sheets!  Mommas and Poppas, I’m so confused.

I still don’t really get what happened.  I’m not sure if she didn’t like her seat.  I don’t know if the movie was too loud.  The popcorn too salty.  I just don’t know.  I do know however that I told JustaBXgirl that I would have to really think about the next time I take her to a movie.  And I’ll admit to you that it’s a bluff.  She enjoys the movie going experience (most of the time) so next children’s movie we will still be there.

As for me?  I’m both patting myself on the back and shaking my finger at the mirror.  I wanted to force her to sit in that theater.  I wanted to scream at her for wasting time and money.  I wanted to do these things but I didn’t.  I did however react very passive aggressively by constantly reminding her that it was because of her that we were sitting there with nothing to do when we could be watching a movie, at home playing or I could be working. I’m growing in my parenting but I still have far to go.

Hope this behind the scenes look into our world reminds you that you are doing great!  Don’t forget to share your own #transparentparenting moments (good and bad) using the hashtag on IG, Twitter or Facebook so I can find you.

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