Last night I had the privilege to co-host another #SingleMomsSpeak chat on Instagram. Can I share that this was a tough talk to have? When we chose the topic I was really excited about it. I mean, come on, how cool does the hashtag look???
It’s a real topic though, however you want to get into it. #LoveMe might mean self love to you and romantic love to someone else. It doesn’t end there though! #LoveMe might be a cry to our children, parents or even our government.
I’ve always considered myself pretty put together. I mean, I’m a complete mess but a put together one if you can follow. I never thought my worth comes from the outside. I’ve never thought because someone else has more it means I’m worth less. I’ve claimed what I’ve wanted and gone out and got it (most of the time). Yet, when it came time to write an Instagram post for our #LoveMe chat it was difficult.
It made me take a real good look at myself, behind the filters. Have I really been loving me? How do I take care of myself? How do I speak to myself? And do I really listen to my hopes, joys, fears and needs? Am I doing a good job at loving me? In my truth the answer isn’t always yes. I always give myself enough of a pep talk to get through the moment but I haven’t been great at following through on what I need and want. Yes, there are avenues of my life that I definitely don’t slack on but overall I can and will start doing better.
The truth is if anyone else in my life only half listened to me the way I half listen to me I would have shown them the door a long time ago. That is one thing I’m getting right in the #LoveMe movement. I’m no longer allowing people to take up space in my world if they are not actively loving me. Now that doesn’t mean fawning over me with gifts and compliments (even though those do help). If just means actively participating in my life.
Before I had JustaBXgirl it might surprise you to know that I was a Brooklyn girl. I lived an amazing time during my 20s & early 30s even though I didn’t always #LoveMe. I used to put a lot more energy into loving others. Would I change anything? Nope, not a moment but becoming a mother and returning home to the Bronx was a real eyeopener. My life changed drastically and not just because I had a baby baking.
I lost a lot of friends because you know the Bronx is light years away from Brooklyn. My goals and priorities changed and were no longer aligned with some of what I was doing and who I was being when I lived in Brooklyn. If I stick to this honest thing I wasn’t okay with the changes at the time. I wanted to hold onto what once was and had trouble accepting what now is.
I still struggle with these things at times. We all know that the memory is so much sweeter than the actual moment. Now though, I realize that if you did #LoveMe in Brooklyn & don’t #LoveMe in the Bronx, then that’s your issue and not mine. My priorities might have shifted but my values remain the same.
I’ve now set a higher standard because having #JustaBXgirl reminded me that I am a queen and can not accept being treated as anything else. Today, thanks to the chat last night I was once again reminded that it starts with me. I need to start treating myself as royally as I treat my princess.
How do you show yourself love? How do you demand it from others?