Did you know that March 21st is National Single Parent Day? I sure as heck didn’t and I’ve been a single mom for four years. Longer if you count my pregnancy. Apparently, National Single Parent Day has been a holiday since 1984. Yet, just like a lot of other things in a single parent’s world, this has gone hugely unsung. No longer! At least not in my world.
While I frown upon Father’s Day shout outs (I am not and never will be a father to my child) I will relish and bask in being acknowledged not only on Mother’s Day but on National Single Parent Day as well. Why? Because I deserve it! And so do other single parents. We might, for the most part, make it look easy. We might smile and let our married friends talk about how they know our struggle because their husband or wife just doesn’t help out enough but trust me we are (or at least I am) thinking you will never know my struggle.
Does that mean my struggle is more difficult than yours? Not necessarily. It just means that comparing a single parent’s fears and concerns to that of our married counterparts is like comparing apples to oranges. They’re both delicious and nutritious but taste very different. The truth is no two parenting adventures are the same. We are individuals and so are our children. Because of the uniqueness of each person involved, there is no one walking the same journey.
But today I will not focus on the struggles. In fact, it gets me a little perturbed that people always want to focus on the negative when it comes to being a single parent. Is it easy? Nope. But nothing worth having in life is easy. God chose this journey for me and I am embracing it. When you read this blog I don’t want you to feel bad for me because I’m raising my daughter without a partner. I don’t want you to feel bad for JustaBXgirl because she doesn’t have an active father. When you read my blog or view my social media I want you to be embraced by our love. I want our story to make you smile. I want you to follow our adventures and be inspired to take your own. I want you to look at what we do and where we go and use it as a blueprint to your plans.
When you read this blog I want you to look at me and see a parent that loves my daughter more than I could have ever imagined loving another, just like you love your littles. When you follow our team on social media I want you to see a little girl that is filled with love, laughter, and confidence. This is our life. I work hard so that we can play hard.
Our life is not perfect and I am far from the perfect mom. Did I grow up thinking I wanted to be an only parent? Nope, can’t say that I did. I can say this much though, I am blessed. My single mom journey is one that comes covered with blessings. I have two parents that love my child completely and support me in any way they can. I have family members and friends that step in as part of my village. I have employment that allows me to work from home most of the time so I am not missing precious moments with JustaBXgirl. I run a blog that presents us with opportunities to experience events and products I might not be able to supply otherwise.
My blessings are what I hold onto in moments where I feel lost. I’m assuming for all parents they sometimes feel lost. My sense of loss might be a little different from yours though. My sense of loss happens in moments of weakness. It happens sitting in the ER trying to figure out what’s wrong with my baby girl and not having a person’s hand to hold while I put on a brave front. It happens when it’s time to pay tuition for the next cycle of gymnastics classes or annual memberships and knowing there is no one to ask for help. Weakness hits when I see daddies embracing their daughters and knowing that isn’t my daughter’s reality. Weakness hits when I have to always be the bad guy when it comes to discipline. Then I remember God gave me this path. He knows I am strong enough for it and I must remember that.
And you know what? I wouldn’t trade this journey. I get to keep all of the random I love yous, the hugs, the kisses and the squeals of glee. I get to be proud to be JustaBXgirl’s only parent when she shines bright like the star she is. I get to claim credit for the amazing little she is and the magnificent young lady she will become. I get to be the one she runs to for comfort. I get to be the one she wants to snuggle with. I get to be her mommy.
Will this always be our story? Who knows but for today (and every day) I will celebrate being a single parent.
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