I cannot be the only one that has reached the point where I need to check my phone to see what day and date it is. When the world first closed I was really productive for about two weeks. I created an educational schedule for JustaBXgirl with her input, I started a Teespring store, worked on my 12-month plan, and did a bunch of other productive stuff. The last week or so, not so productive.
And if I’m to believe social media, it’s not just me. It seems like a lot of us are at the point where we are just existing and making it through the day as opposed to taking charge of the day. I started to beat myself up about it. Felt like I was failing quarantine. Actually, when I decided to sit and write this post I was still kind of feeling that way. Now that I’m typing it out, I realize that even while I may be forgetting the day of the week, even though I might have relaxed the educational schedule, even though it has been a full week since I’ve written anything, even though I forgot to upload last Sunday’s IGTV episode of Sunday Stories with JustaBXgirl, I am not failing.
I am doing better at being present. I am connecting with people. I am keeping JustaBXgirl smiling and laughing even when I feel like crying. I am learning to take a few minutes to myself to just breathe. I am getting up every day. That, my friend, is winning. Even when it might not feel that way.
Once we are passed this chapter, I look forward to reflecting and sharing my highs and lows with you. I look forward to cheering on your highs and comforting you on your lows. I look forward to keeping it real and letting you know what I thought and what truly was. When this is all over, I plan to use this space as a way to keep me accountable for the changes I want to make, the goals I have set, and to remember how I felt when. This time has never been and I pray never returns.
There is no going back. This will be a turning point for everyone because we cannot unsee all that we have seen. It is up to us to decide how we will walk back into the world. It is up to us to decide who we will become and what we will value. I hope to walk into the world a better person than I was when the world stopped for this moment in time. I hope to continue to prioritize family and friends, happiness and health over money and work. It will be a brand new world and I am looking forward to sharing it with you. I am also looking forward to remembering what day it is!